Updated: Aug 27, 2020
Yesterday, for a brief moment I thought I saw Joshua. It of course was Oliver but I've never seen him looking so much like his big brother, so much so that I was taken aback, so shocked that I cried. Oliver is currently the same size that Joshua was when he passed away, he is now wearing the very last of his brother's clothing. I was unsure as to how I felt about Oliver wearing some of Joshua’s clothes but I decided that it’s what would normally happen, brother’s would wear ‘hand me downs’ and so Oliver now wears some of his brother’s clothes. But this collection will be the last. Whilst Oliver is this size, it’s extra special having cuddles but also sometimes difficult, it often brings flashbacks to holding, handling and cuddling Joshua. Oliver will always be his own person, he certainly has his own character and he will never live in Joshua’s shadow but this doesn’t not stop me consciously and unconsciously reminiscing, having flashbacks and moments where for brief moments I’m transported back in time to cuddling Joshua.