Today a special little boy should have turned 5, Joshua should have been waking up today another year older, I’d have been thinking about how time passes so quickly and have been wishing for it to pause. Instead, Joshua’s birthday is spent in a state of confusion. How can it be true that instead of having a party, we visit his memorial tree, it’s our reality. Joshua entered this world peacefully, just as he exited. Naturally, I taunt myself with ‘what ifs?’ What if he had hav